Lifting Veils

Dear Listener,

Recently, someone dear to me passed away. It was untimely and unexpected. My grief was surprising, in that I underestimated their impact on me, but also how it awakened other layers of grief within- which I’ll speak on broadly as it compels me to write something on this uneasy subject.

The pandemic seems to have prompted a lot of grief, not only in regards to the passing of loved ones, but in other ways. While people may share a difference of opinion as to whether the pandemic is over or not, it is probably safe to say the past 2+ years were disruptive directly and indirectly, impacting if not tearing at the fabric of our culture. It’s lateral pressure has touched upon work routines, career paths, healthy behaviors, social habits and norms, conveniences, ease of conducting business, in-person education, travel and even the cost of living. These few (limited) examples are intended to point to the tide we swim though, the impact of the strain on each of us, which for some might prompt a longing or sadness for the way things were. I don't blame anyone for feeling this way, the world rapidly changed.

Eventually, amongst this change, lies an option to eventually let go of what was and receive the present moment with acceptance. As terrible as some events have been, the past unfortunately cannot be undone and we, the living, can find a choice in being here, to live life and find a way through this maze of reality.

When it’s time, a question might arise as to how one might move forward? I think one of the first steps is finding ways to express and process grief. Grief is very unique and individualized, everyone does it differently and in their own timing whether it be a few months, a few years or more than a decade. Letting go of preconceived notions of ‘what it should look like’ will unburden the person grieving. Seeking support and compassion aids the grieving process- If you are a person struggling with it, it may be worth it to seek out a grief group in your community, a grief counselor or pastoral counseling - all of which tends to focus on processing the loss of a loved one.

However, these feelings can be felt about any aspect of life, such as loss of a career, a social circle or something less tangible such as a perceived ease of living. Which is why I not only speak about the loss of a friend, but also the context of these past years in which much loss occurred. No matter what form or reason, grief seems to ask for its own space and time, its own support, its own expression whether it be amongst friends, peers or a community. It can be difficult or uncomfortable to process grief. Possibly consider its flip side- leaving it unattended can shift actions or perceptions in unintended directions, as if it were a veil in one’s consciousness disrupting a clear view.

When I think of letting go, I remember how one mindfulness explained it to me- when you hold onto something in your hand, you can’t receive anything in it. Letting go allows is to receive. It is something to contemplate when experiencing grief.

Some final words to my friend; I am grateful for our crossing paths, I learned a lot. I’m sad to see you go. I wish your soul peace and appreciate your gift of humor, integrity and focus.

Thank you for listening. This post is public, please share it with anyone you think it may help.